Dealing with Passive Non-Compliance in Children

Passive non-compliance is mostly misunderstood due to the nature of behaviour 

What is passive non-compliance?

Passive non-compliance involves a child blatantly ignoring an authority figure – parent or guardian and acting as if the command or instruction never existed. For example, when a parent says, “it’s time for dinner!” and the child completely ignores what was said and continues to engage in playing (Faraci, 2018). Other forms of non-compliance can come in the form of aggressiveness, for instance, when a child wants to continue engaging in the activity and gets upset when he/she hears that it is time to pack up – this is termed as direct non-compliance. Another common form of non-compliance would be negotiation, where a child would negotiate the terms to allow themselves more time before carrying out the said activity by the authority figure, of which, some of these phrases may seem familiar – “five more minutes, please? I promise, just 5 more minutes!”

Why is it important to understand the possibilities behind passive non-compliance?

Non-compliant behaviours can be self-rewarding

Children often go through stages where they feel a need for independence and sense of anatomy to do things their way (Willard, 2022). They may not understand the rationale and importance behind instructions given, or the consequences of not complying. Children may have been accidentally reinforced by their refusal, which can be termed as self-directedness. With self-directedness, refusal of tasks and instructions is most reinforcing, hence they would continue to do it with no care of the authority figure.  

Difficulties comprehending instructions

The term introduced in Kleinsinger’s article was “silent bewilderment”. Children often face moments in their lives where they are unable to comprehend what was spoken to them and are usually only able to “decode” what was not previously understood, with time and exposure. Children with autism struggle with this problem even more as they may lack the skills to generalize and work better with explicit explanation of comprehension. An example would be “Time for dinner, let’s keep the toys.” – children who may not have been taught the term “dinner”, would not understand the instruction, hence not be motivated to keep the toys. At times, ignoring the instruction not understood may have been previously reinforced with the task being forgone or with more time given to continue their activity. 

Attention

Willard (2022) also states that attention would affect compliance as a child may not have the focus to retain what they hear and can only focus on one thing at a time. If the task given was to wash their hands and have their breakfast, children with a lower attention span may get distracted after the first task of washing their hands and go back to playing or starting a new activity instead of having their breakfast. 

How can we increase compliance with our child?

Comprehension

It is important for instructions to be taught, broken down and ensured that the child understands what is expected of them. Instead of saying “We are going to bathe, so I need you to put away your toys and take your pajamas”, trying saying “Take pajamas” instead, before moving onto bigger sentences for your child to generalize instructions. 

Try to avoid assuming your child is refusing to follow instructions until you can be sure they have understood it well. At times, children may only follow the instructions with assistance and hints from what they observe from caregivers or parents – for example, they may hear “Let’s go bathe” and see you holding on to a new set of clothes and walking to the bathroom, with the visual cues of the new set of clothes, they may take information from there that is it bath time, but not from the verbal instructions. 

If your child is verbal, you can have them repeat the instructions back to you to confirm what they have heard as well.

Attention

To work on attention and following verbal instructions, it would be effective to start off with one instruction at a time. Rather than giving 2-step instructions, 1-step instructions are more straightforward and can help boost a child’s confidence through positive progresses, rather than constantly experiencing and working on failing to follow 2-step instructions.

Positive reinforcement

Positive reinforcement gives an incentive to children’s actions, especially when self-directedness has become the source of reinforcement for them. When children are rewarded for behaving well or for following an instruction, they are motivated to repeat this behaviour. On top of this, tasks and instructions can be mixed up to be a rewarding experience itself, so that they feel less reinforced from non-compliance and are more willing to participate. 

It is important for parents and caregivers to explain the rationale behind instructions, follow through with instructions and to acknowledge when a child behaves appropriately. Negotiations repeat when they have been previously reinforced and will continue to repeat when instructions or consequences are not followed up with. Consequences can come in the form of a negative consequence by decreasing play time, but it would it best to use positive reinforcements first as the primary drive for children to cultivate better behaviours. 

Passive non-compliance is mostly misunderstood due to the nature of behaviour causing frustrations among caregivers and parents, but it is important to find out the reasons behind non-compliance before deciding how it should be handled. Even with self-directedness, it can be assumed a child is being rebellious and showing refusal, but the child may just be exploring self-independence and requires guidance on how to explore it alternatively.

Written by: Joleen

References

Anne Arundel County Public Schools. (n.d.) Tips for parents on non-compliance. Retrieved from https://www.aacps.org/cms/lib/MD02215556/Centricity/Domain/1410/TipsforParentsonNonCompliantChildren%20from%20Thrive.pdf 

Big abilities (2019). How to increase compliance in kids with autism. Retrieved from https://bigabilities.com/2019/09/10/3tipsforcompliance/ 

Crisis prevention institute (2021). Managing the non-compliant person. Retrieved from https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/Managing-the-Noncompliant-Person 

Faraci (2018). Centre for anxiety and behaviour management. 6 Strategies for increasing children’s positive behaviours. Retrieved from https://anxietyandbehaviornj.com/6-strategies-for-increasing-childrens-positive-behaviors/ 

Kleinsinger (2003). Understanding non-compliant behaviour: definitions and causes. PubMed Central. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5571787/ 

Willard (2022). Cadey. What is non-compliance in childhood?. Retrieved from https://cadey.co/articles/non-compliant-behavior