Preparing My Child for a New Sibling

The way you choose to welcome the new baby can greatly ease the older siblings’ worries and make this transition period much easier.

Welcoming a baby is a joyous occasion and brings excitement to the family. A crying and needy baby, however, might not sound very appealing to the older child. Instead, it becomes a challenging time for them, when they realise they are no longer the centre of attention. In some cases, they even start acting out due to feelings of jealousy. And that’s perfectly normal! 

Depending on the challenges your child faces, the way they react to the new baby will differ. This means that the approach to preparing your child will also differ. Compiled below are some ways to help your child adjust.

Gradually changing the environment 

For children very sensitive to changes and routines in the environment, it would be good to slowly incorporate baby items around the house (Surrey Place, 2023). For example, the playpen and baby cot. Parents can introduce baby-related objects and explain their uses, which at the same time teaches the child new information. This helps them adjust to the changing environment and reduce stress over the big change later.

Getting them involved in baby-related routines

Firstly, we can start by introducing the baby and family.  

Using visual aids, such as photos or videos, introduce the concept of a baby. For example, babies within a family picture sets the notion that a baby is a part of the family, not a stranger. For children with higher understanding, parents can read them social stories and provide visuals on how having a baby around would look like as well (bh360, 2022). Explain to them the changes there would be, such as new routines and expectations. 

One suggestion is to buy a baby doll for your child, and practise certain routines with them. This includes holding, feeding and changing the baby’s diapers. It allows them to feel involved in the process as a part of the family. Next, you can tell them how you feel. For example, “It might seem new at first, but I am feeling excited to meet the baby!” By making this whole process fun and interesting, this will aid them in forming a positive association with the incoming change. It is also good to ask about the child’s feelings and validate it (Golden Care, 2024). If it is positive, that’s great! If it is not, discuss and process those feelings with them. Take the time to understand their concerns and reassure any doubts they have. 

Increase flexible thinking in your child

As previously mentioned, some children are rigid in routines and have a certain way they want things to be done (bh360, 2022). A baby however, spells uncertainty. This could possibly trigger a tantrum or meltdown in your child. It is therefore crucial to reduce their rigidity by introducing minor changes into their lifestyle, teaching them that it is unnecessary to follow the same routine every day. This will help bolster your child’s ability to adjust to unexpected or sudden changes in routines. 

Prepare for sensory stimuli 

Children with Autism tend to have higher sensory needs too (Minot, 2020). They might become distressed with a baby’s crying or cooing, and show adverse reactions. To start, parents can play recorded sounds of a baby’s cry and let your child get used to it. Start off with a short and progressive increase in duration and volume, praising or reinforcing the child with their favourite toy whenever they manage to tolerate the cry. Slowly, the child will become more desensitised to baby noises. An alternative method would be to use noise-cancelling headphones. When doing so, ensure your child requests for the earphones nicely by either tapping you for attention and gesturing headphones, or requesting for it. 

Setting aside individual time with the older child

As with all children, they are able to sense their parent’s attention. It is crucial to continuously show that your child is being loved, from before to even after the baby is born (Hickman, n.d.). This can be simple to achieve! Just put aside fixed segments of time daily (eg. 10-15 mins, or more time where possible), to interact and play with your child, or set aside time for meals uninterrupted with them. Most importantly, remember to constantly vocalise to your child and reassure them with an “I love you!”

So, that's it for the tips I have in helping your older child adjust for an incoming baby. With an effective and early preparation, here’s to wishing for a successful transition!

Written by: Micole

References

Luanateutzi. (n.d.). Big brother kissing his little sibling [Photograph]. iStock. https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/big-brother-kissing-his-little-sibling-gm510067080-86093293

bh360. (2022, June 14). How to prepare a child with autism for a new sister or brother. 360 Behavioral Health. https://360behavioralhealth.com/how-to-prepare-a-child-with-autism-for-a-new-sister-or-brother/

Golden Care. (2024, January 4). Autism and a new baby. https://www.goldencaretherapy.com/autism-and-a-new-baby/

Hickman, A. (n.d.). Helping autistic kids adjust to a new baby. Rainbowsaretoobeautiful. https://www.rainbowsaretoobeautiful.com/2021/06/helping-autistic-kids-adjust-to-new-baby.html

Surrey Place. (2023, January 6). How to help your child with ASD with new siblings. https://www.surreyplace.ca/resources/how-to-help-your-child-with-asd-with-new-siblings/#help-your-child-prepare

McEvoy, K. (n.d.). 8 tips for helping autistic* children prepare for a new baby. Autism Resources and Community (ARC). https://blog.stageslearning.com/blog/8-tips-for-helping-autistic-children-prepare-for-a-new-baby

Minot, D. (2020, November 2). Preparing children with ASD for new siblings. Autism Spectrum News. https://autismspectrumnews.org/preparing-children-with-asd-for-new-siblings/